One of the toughest battles many caregivers face is convincing their elders to quit driving when it’s no longer safe for them to do so. Even after family members realize their elders should no longer be behind the wheel, they often are at a loss as to how to approach their elder about driving cessation. Adult children and spouses of those with dementia know their loved one depends on driving as evidence–both symbolic and practical–of independence. Who wants to take that privilege away from anyone?
Many elders may argue they can drive just fine. They may drive significantly under the speed limit. They may hug the center line, or the curbside of the street. They may back up the vehicle without looking behind them because they can’t turn their necks. But they can drive just fine if you listen to them tell their story. Giving up driving seems to be the end of life as they know it, so they dig in their heels and refuse.
Taking the car keys from elderly parents: 4 tips
Start slowly, when possible. If you have the option to plan, you can help your elder spend less and less time driving before he or she must give it up altogether. Here are four ways to maintain your elder’s independence as they wind down their driving time.
- Pick your parent up once a week for an outing or see to it that a friend does so
- Suggest that your elder only drive during the day and offer alternatives for night activities
- Ask your elder to limit where he or she drives to places where traffic levels are light, again offering alternative transportation for other errands
- Begin to line up community transportation such as senior citizen vans so the elder can learn that they can remain independent by using other types of transportation
Taking away the car keys: outside resources
If the conversation doesn’t go well, you may want to turn to the Dementia and Driving Resource offered by the National Alzheimer’s Association. A useful online tool, the Dementia and Driving Resource Center offers tips on what to do if the conversation you are having with your elders doesn’t go well, which, unfortunately, is likely. Their video shows you real families having these difficult conversations which could help you develop ideas for approaching your elder once again.
Taking away your elders’ driving privileges is not easy, but it’s often necessary.
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