One of the most challenging parts of my work with families is doing an assessment on a referral and realizing that the caregiver has a significant memory problem beyond normal aging. Something more significant is happening and needs to be evaluated. If a caregiver is unable to process new information, does not recall information and is totally responsible for their loved one’s care, some changes in the caregiving plan need to be made for the safety of all involved

There was a case recently where the caregiver was not only making mistakes in setting up both of their medications but he often forgot whether or not they had taken their pills especially in the evening when he was more tired. Clearly, other systems needed to be put into place.

One of the family members insisted that her father knew what the medications were for and he had been managing them for several years. After a few attempts with suggestions, it became necessary to work with another family member who actually had noticed increased changes in her dad’s memory. Occasionally he got lost when driving, had missed doctor’s appointments and she also noticed when she asked about details from their appointments, her father never seemed to provide any specifics which had concerned her.

To have a health care professional verify some of what she was wondering about, helped us to begin to create a plan. She understands that the responsibility of handling this for the both of them was too much at this point, so we were able to explore other options. In this case, the daughter set up the medications with her father’s participation in a weekly pill container. He still wanted to be involved and was eventually able to turn it over to her.

Because independence and staying in their own home as long as possible were important to this couple and their children supported that choice, I recommended a geriatric assessment for their father. If they knew what was going on with him, then they could begin to look at what was ahead for them down the road. He did eventually have a geriatric assessment and was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer’s disease. The family had to make some important decisions and this including no more driving and the husband and wife eventually were able to accept home care services several hours each day to help with household chores, meals and transportation to appointments.

It is never easy to realize that a loved one’s functioning is declining and not everyone in a family may be on the same page. Handling the challenging family often sidetracks the issues. In this situation, eventually the siblings were willing to look at the changes, the wishes of their parents and create a plan that would necessitate frequent reevaluation.  Article with additional information: Does Stress And Overload Impact a Caregiver’s Memory?

Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

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Tags: Caregiving, Dementia, memory