I cannot tell you how many times a caregiver, especially of a person with memory loss, expresses fear that there is something wrong with their memory. In some cases, a situation occurs where the person who has recently assumed the caregiving experience was already experiencing some memory loss beyond the changes with normal aging.  Now, with all the multitasking and stress, the memory difficulties may be more apparent. If family is not located nearby or unable to visit often, they may not have noticed the memory lapses of the person who has now become the primary caregiver or realize how that can have some serious implications for the safety of both.

I remember a woman whose husband had Parkinson’s disease and dementia and one of her children moved to be closer to help out. Eventually an added stress arose when the grandchildren, who were high school and college age, kept dropping by either at breakfast or lunch and gave their grandmother their food order then went to watch TV while she got things ready. Over time the caregiver stated she was afraid she was getting her mother’s Alzheimer’s disease or her husband’s dementia. She was clearly on overload and I suggested she might need to sit down with her family, explain why she was feeling stressed and set some boundaries. Once they created some new guidelines, the grandchildren would stop by just as often but not at mealtime unless she extended the invitation because she was having a “good” day.

In some situations, I might recommend that the caregiver make an appointment with their primary care physician for a complete physical since there are a variety of reasons for memory loss, many of which are reversible. Sometimes caregivers can be experiencing some depression, worry, or grief, along with their own physical ailments. In addition to these issues, a lack of good nutrition and inadequate sleep can be taking their toll on their energy level and stamina.

I can remember clearly starting a new business, writing a new book, creating a website, managing a home and doing my primary job of speech therapy, while trying to go back home to spend time with mom, research options for her care, and communicate with family members. At one point I felt like I did not know which end was up. Looking back, I think the thing that suffered the most was my sleep. I had a hard time trying to shut my mind down. After a few hours, I would wake up and then my mind, which had enough rest, was off and running. I learned some helpful techniques, including quitting the work stuff a few hours before going to bed. Each of us needs to step back, decide what our needs are and then create a plan one step at a time.  Article with additional information: Does Stress And Overload Impact a Caregiver’s Memory?

 There is something healthy and invigorating about direct action. Henry Miller

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Tags: aging, Alzheimer’s, Caregivers balancing work-life issues, Caregiving, Dementia, Health, Stress, Support