For some caregivers and their chronically ill elders, life can be a series of unending appointments. There are business appointments, medical appointments, social events, and more, looming on life’s horizon daily. Chronically ill elders often juggle doctors’ and lab appointments year-round as part of their medical treatment.
When I worked full-time and fulfilled temporary, on-again, off-again caregiving support to Mom, I regularly deferred my own medical appointments to year-end. By doing so, I avoided over-scheduling my life the rest of the year. I scheduled, coordinated, and drove Mom to, and from all of her medical appointments, including a couple of day-surgery, outpatient procedures. Balancing my work and personal life required more than a successful juggling act.
Striking the right balance when there are frequent follow-up medical appointments can be challenging. It helped that I always had supportive employers over the years. My supervisors and managers understood. They also knew I would get all of my work done, regardless. Mom’s physicians have all understood my caregiver’s struggle to achieve work-life balance in highly demanding jobs as I kept pace with Mom’s chronic medical conditions.
Many years ago, I sat in a doctor’s office with Mom during one of her then-recurring post-surgical visits. I asked her surgeon how soon “we” could expect Mom’s oncology surgical drain tube to be removed from Mom’s body. My question had everything to do with trying to plan ahead. I needed to think through how much longer I would need to devote to managing her surgical drain at home and devoting my lunch hours to checking on Mom’s post-surgical recovery.
I did not wish to rush the surgeon in his decision. He was skilled and cautious. His decision kept the surgical drain in place for more than 5 weeks. Only then, was the surgeon satisfied that Mom’s body had finally stabilized its blood and lymphatic fluid output. Surgical drains are important to the body’s ability to heal after surgery. They are inserted near to the patient’s incision to help prevent blood and lymphatic fluid buildup under the skin. After Mom’s breast cancer surgery, her surgeon’s decision to keep the surgical drain in place for a longer period helped her avoid post-surgical swelling as experienced by some breast cancer patients.
At one point during the 45-minute visit, the surgeon looked at me and asked me whether I was employed. I told him I was. “As a matter of fact, I am headed in to work after this medical appointment once I take Mom back home,” I said. Mom’s post-surgical appointments were longer than other routine medical appointments. Thankfully, she was much closer to being medically released by her surgeon if her body continued healing without medical complications.
I shall always remember my sense of relief when Mom’s surgeon told the nurse and me that his office would work around my availability in scheduling Mom’s remaining post-surgical follow-up visits. He understood. I started scheduling her appointments later in the day.
If you are trying to balance work-life issues, let the medical team know what you’re up against. Just remember that all medical appointment times are based on core business hours for the medical office, not otherwise.
Posted in Caregiving, Stress | No Comments »Tags: Caregivers balancing work-life issues
Carol Bradley Bursack

