Too often, in the midst of a crisis, we go on automatic pilot and do not have the time to stop and look at the bigger picture. Recently the mother of one of my friends had a mild stroke. The mother had recently moved in with my friend after her father had to be moved to a nursing home. When my friend and I talked, I offered several suggestions for her to ponder. Her mother was going to come home and have therapy for the right sided weakness in her arm and leg and some of her mild speech difficulties. Prioritizing those things on her to do list before her mother returned home, and making the necessary arrangements were first on her agenda. This would allow her to be less distracted once her mom came home since a whole new routine needed to be created. Since her mother had been the one providing transportation for the grandchildren to their many activities, other transportation arrangements needed to be made with friends since my friend felt her mother should not drive again until she had a driving assessment at a later date.

 It was going to be important to help her mother modify her previous routine since she was very active in a variety of organizations. One of the suggestions was that she should contact the groups where she had some ongoing obligations and tell them they would need to find someone to take her place for at least the next six months. When she felt stronger, she hoped to attend meetings but felt it would be best not continue with her committee responsibilities. They both agreed it would be a good idea to order an emergency response system for everyone’s peace of mind in case mom needed to call for help during the time when she would be home alone.

There were more details to be worked out but getting the ball rolling ahead of time allowed them to explore the options more effectively, not leaving what they could take care of ahead time until the last minute. Once they got home, other needs became more obvious and they even decided to some kind of delivered meals, at least for a few weeks, on the days that her daughter worked. This helped reduced some of the stress since it freed up some time while they adjusted to their new lifestyle. Change is never easy but working together to create a safe environment while respecting the needs of an older adult can be a very rewarding experience.  Article with additional information: Does Stress And Overload Impact a Caregiver’s Memory?

 Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Theodore Roosevelt

Posted in Caregiving, Caring At Home, Health, Stress, Support | No Comments »
Tags: aging, Caregivers balancing work-life issues, Health, Stress, Support