How often do people ask caregivers if they could help them but rarely get taken up on their offer? It seems like some of the caregivers I have met do not feel comfortable asking for help, do not want to burden already busy people, or feel the need to have to do it all. Whenever possible I try to help them find some little things that people can do that would lighten their load without making a large time commitment. The daughter of a patient of mine talked about the offers her church had made to assist her but she felt there really wasn’t anything they could do. She brought her mom to her home to live after she had fallen and broken her hip. Her mom needed 24/7 supervision now which complicated her life since she ran a child day care in her home to supplement the income needed for a son starting college next year. She did not feel comfortable having someone do her mom’s personal care and knew the responsibility for the children in day care was totally hers.

After several weeks of working with her mom and watching their routine, I presented the daughter with some possibilities. It was important for her to look at some ways where she might feel comfortable accepting some assistance. First of all, she realized that having someone pick up her mom’s medications or some last minute groceries would free up some time for her. Trying to fit it all in was starting to create some additional stress for her since she was already totally exhausted by the end of the day.

Once she was more open to considering some assistance she remembered there was a woman from their church whose company her mother enjoyed. They were about the same age and had done some things together whenever the mother was in town. After some discussion, the daughter felt it might work out if she invited mom’s friend to lunch once or twice a week. The daughter would fix something for them to eat and the ladies eventually ended up working on an ongoing craft project and a jigsaw puzzle together. This allowed the caregiver to give full attention to the young children at lunch time without any distractions and her mother developed a nice friendship.

Sometimes it is baby steps like this that can open up a mindset. It helped this caregiver to eventually be more open to creating a wish list, then accepting some help resulting in a win-win situation for all involved.  Article with additional information: Does Stress And Overload Impact a Caregiver’s Memory?

Many things are lost for want of asking. English proverb

Posted in Caregiving, Caring At Home, Stress, Support, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tags: care at home, Caregivers balancing work-life issues, Stress, Support